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Michael Green's 'How To' Forum
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How To Forum
Re: A critique please
Posted By: Charlie Page In Response To: A critique please (David James)
Date: Friday, 5 December 2003, at 4:49 p.m.
David,
All meant to be constructive.
1. Your headline is crowded. I would separate the four thoughts you have there with at least one or two blank lines.
2. I'd drop the Warning: text. Too hypey.
3. You position affiliate managers to be the bad guys when they are not. To say that they "don't want you to have this information" and then say "the truth is, good affiliate programs are fine" sounds insincere. Unless you are going to define what a "good" affiliate program is, don't leave the reader hanging.
4. I would add a two line description of each product along with a one line benefit statment of each so people know what they are buying and what's in it for them.
Of course, you already have heard about the guarantee.
Hope this helps.
Charlie Page
866-824-8966http://www.charliepage.com Copywriting That Gets Results!
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